Rediscovering Odysseus
by saucykate
Summary: Daniel/Vala, post-series. The memories still didn’t quite feel like hers – like she was watching a film of another person's life, knowing how they felt and why they felt it, but never quite actually living it.


**Title:** Rediscovering Odysseus  
**Fandom:** Stargate SG-1/Stargate Atlantis  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Genre/Pairing:** Daniel/Vala, with some hints of possible future Teal'c/Sam (which can also be read as friendship)  
**Word Count:** 8,142  
**Warnings:** Spoilers for all of SG-1, especially the series finale! AU as of the end of season 4 of SGA.  
**Summary:** The memories still didn't quite feel like hers – like she was watching a film of another person's life, knowing how they felt and why they felt it, but never quite actually living it.

**Disclaimer:** Stargate and these characters do not belong to me; I'm just playing in their universe.

**Note:** So I feel like this fic needs some explanation before it. I wrote this several years ago, when SGA was in the middle of its 4th season and Sam was still the commander of Atlantis. It was originally supposed to be part of a much bigger plotty fic taking place in the Pegasus galaxy, but I unfortunately stopped working on it. During a reread about a year ago, I realized it stands very well on its own. I am a firm believer that the internet needs more Daniel/Vala fic, especially of the long variety, so finally I am posting it! Please remember that it's AU and technically set during 4th season SGA. Thank you :)

**Rediscovering Odysseus**

The Ori threat had barely been eliminated from the galaxy before Daniel was once again looking towards Atlantis as the next step on his academic path of studying and understanding the Ancients. The _Daedalus_ was newly arrived at Earth and already the transfer request had been put in to the SGC and approved. Jack was unhappy about it - but wasn't Jack always? – and it was really about time that Daniel finally left.

He hadn't told the other members of SG-1 about his decision yet, and Landry had allowed him to keep his silence. With Sam gone to Atlantis, the team was already starting to unravel piece by piece. Teal'c spent most of his time off-world again trying to rebuild the Jaffa Nation, which had already been kicked while it was down more times than anyone cared to count. Cameron and Vala and Daniel had still been running missions, but since the elimination of the Ori, the galaxy had settled into a period of relative peace, and when they'd gone ten missions without being shot at, Daniel reasoned that there was no longer any need for a highly trained crack group of adventurers.

With the _Daedalus_ leaving in four days, Daniel was packing the last of things in his office when he was interrupted.

"What is this?" Mitchell asked, dropping a report onto Daniel's empty desk and frowning at him with arms crossed across his chest. Daniel glanced quickly over at it, saw it was his transfer request, and winced. This was a conversation he had not looked forward to, and there had been a reason he'd been waiting until the last possible second to tell Cam and Vala that he was leaving. Especially Vala. And if Mitchell knew that he was going to Atlantis now, there was an excellent chance that Vala knew as well, and that she wouldn't be far behind in harassing him about it.

"It's the culmination of my life's work," Daniel told him.

"And when were you going to _tell_ us that we were losin' another team member?" Mitchell drawled, leaning against Daniel's desk in a slouch that at first glance looked casual, but which displayed the amount of nervous tension truly present in him. "Jackson, you can't just make spur of the moment decisions like this."

"Look," Daniel spun around, gesturing with the Goa'uld artifact in his right hand. "I've been trying to get to Atlantis for two years. I'm the leading expert on the Ancients, and now that they've lost Elizabeth Weir, it's more important than ever that they have another scientist who understands the Ancients. They might be doing well with Ancient technology, but who's going to study their language, their culture, the well of information that's been left behind? From what Sam tells us, the only time they access the Ancient database anymore is when something threatens the health and well-being of the city, and it's just…" he threw up his hands wildly. "I can't let that knowledge go to waste, Mitchell. Cameron. I just can't."

"Jackson," Mitchell said sharply, putting up a hand to shut him up. "I know. We'd all have to be blind not to see how you feel about the Atlantis expedition and the Ancients, and nobody's tryin' to stop you from going. But damn, you could have given me a little more time to write up the rest of those transfer requests."

Daniel blinked. Blinked again. "Transfer requests?" The Goa'uld artifact in his hand dropped quietly into the box he was packing, forgotten.

"Of course," Mitchell said, all cocky attitude. "Who's going to watch your back in the Pegasus galaxy if we're not around?" At some point, Vala had apparently appeared unnoticed in the doorway, because she chimed in,

"You know you'd miss me."

Daniel didn't know whether to laugh or thunk his head against the bookshelf in front of him. "You two are coming to Atlantis with me?" He desperately did not look at Vala. As of late, she'd been worming her way under his carefully crafted emotional defenses, and it was starting to become unnerving. Instead, he focused on Mitchell.

"That would be three, actually," he told Daniel. "Apparently the Jaffa Nation has broken down into small factions again and Teal'c is just plain fed up with the whole thing. He's comin' with us. He made it clear he would be gating back to Earth often to check up on Bra'tac, of course."

"Of course," Daniel replied automatically. "You guys...I..." he couldn't really articulate his words, swallowing heavy over the lump of emotion in his throat. He'd known SG-1 would be sad without him, and that losing him so soon after Sam's departure would be especially hard, but he'd never even considered that they'd come _with_ him.

Vala sauntered in from her position at the doorframe and perched herself on the desk next to Mitchell. "Oh, and Muscles said to tell you that if you thought you were leaving without us, you were crazy."

Daniel's mouth twitched into a smile. "Somehow I feel like that's paraphrased."

She beamed back at him. "Maybe a little." Then she glanced around the room, at the empty walls and bookshelf and the lack of clutter on his desk. "Did you pack your entire office, Daniel? Were you planning on ever having a life at Atlantis?"

"You're assumin' that he even has a life outside of this office," Cameron said teasingly.

"Oh, I know he doesn't, but I've been trying." Two years before, the statement would have been filled with innuendo, but now it was simple fact. It was odd and slightly confusing that Vala had become one of his closest friends and confidants, one of the people he trusted most with his life, and yet…

There was a depth in his feelings towards her that he'd not felt for anyone since Sha're, and it scared the hell out of him, because he was pretty sure that, for all Vala's constant attention and flirtation, she was still only messing with him because he was a prime target. If she ever found out that true feelings were involved on his part…

Suddenly, he realized something and he stared at her. "The trip to Atlantis on the _Daedalus_ is three weeks." The smile that answered his statement was almost predatory.

"Yes, Daniel."

Daniel looked at Cameron pleadingly. "She's going to drive us all insane."

"Oh, I dunno about 'us all', Jackson, but you are definitely going to bear the brunt of it," Mitchell laughed. "Now finish packin' up so we can celebrate our last few days on Earth. I think one final trip through the gate is in order, wouldn't you say? Teal'c arrives tomorrow, that gives us plenty of time."

"Oh, no," Daniel replied, sealing up the box he was packing. "I refuse. If we go off-world now, we'll end up kidnapped, or shot, or tortured, or we'll find a Goa'uld that has conquered a quarter of the galaxy without us noticing. Do you have any idea how many times I've tried to leave for Atlantis? _Nothing_ is going to screw it up this time."

Mitchell conceded with another laugh. "All right, all right. No gate travel until we reach the Pegasus galaxy, I swear."

"I'm still waiting for someone to decide that now would be a great time to attack Earth," Daniel muttered under his breath. Cam pushed off from the desk and started heading for the door, all smiles.

"Hurry up with packing, Jackson!" he yelled as he left. Vala remained, swinging her legs to and fro and watching her shoes with a strange disinterest. Daniel ignored her for a moment, starting to pack another box, and after the silence stretched on for a bit, she finally spoke.

"Were you just going to leave?" Her voice was small, her tone holding a rare sincerity. He turned and looked at her, meeting her eyes, and a part of his stomach flip-flopped. "Do we really mean so little to you?"

He wanted to say all the right things, like _in reality, you mean too much_ and _I couldn't bear to tell you I was leaving and see the apathy in your eyes_, but he was blindsided by how upset she seemed and he couldn't seem to formulate words at all.

Finally, he managed to choke out, "I thought it would be easier if I waited to tell you," hoping she'd buy it and leave him alone before he said something they both would regret, but Vala hadn't gotten close to him and under his skin for nothing, and she was off his desk and by his side before he'd even finished the sentence.

"Don't be ridiculous, Daniel. There's a whole new galaxy for us to explore! New freedoms to fight for, new dusty dead societies to spend hours locked up with. New treasures," and there was that familiar lusty grin, "to seek."

"A new fringe underworld to screw over?" Daniel asked, trying not to crack a grin.

"Of course," she said. "It's a shame I've stopped wearing leather. Earth clothing is comfortable but it's hardly what the best thief in two galaxies should be wearing." She tossed her hair over her shoulder haughtily and they smiled at each other, the awkwardness still in the room but less solid than moments before. "Well, I had better start packing my things. How much sexy underwear should I pack, Daniel?"

"You're making the assumption that I care," he tossed out good-naturedly, even though the flirtatious comments still cut at him, like she was mocking the feelings he had. He wasn't even sure if she knew, although he felt like he was constantly walking around with his heart painted on his sleeve every time he happened make eye contact with her.

She headed for the door and he went back to packing. A few moments passed and he assumed she'd gone until he heard her say, "if you'd left, I would have had nothing here." He blinked, his mouth forming an 'o', but as he whirled around to challenge the statement and tell her that _of course she had something left, Cameron was still here and so was the SGC_, she was already gone.

********

The first time Vala had one of the dreams, she'd thought it was simply that – a dream. It wasn't until they began to occur on a semi-regular basis that she realized that there was a possibility that they were something more. The night before the _Daedalus_ left, she had another one, particularly vivid.

_She and Daniel were curled up in bed, snuggling under the covers in a room that looked as though it was on board a ship, even though it was hung with silk draperies and furnished nicely in the Goa'uld-esque elegance that Vala enjoyed. They weren't even naked like they should have been in Vala's dreams – she wore flannel pajamas and a long nightshirt, and Daniel was in sweats. They were just reveling in the comfort of each other, his arms around her shoulders and the curve of his mouth pressed lightly into her shoulder._

"Daniel, it's been three years," she whispered to him. "I want to go somewhere. I want to see trees, and sky, and feel the wind on my face. I want to go shopping. I want to fight with someone other than you five. I'm tired, Daniel, and we're never going to get off this ship."

He pulled her closer, his breath hot on her skin. "We will. We have to keep believing that."

"And what if we don't? What if we grow old on here? I'm supposed to be out there having adventures and becoming rich and famous." She smiled languorously down at him. "With my handsome, if slightly antisocial and geeky Tau'ri lover by my side, of course."

He laughed and put a hand under her chin, turning her head so he could press his mouth against hers. It was a quick, gentle movement that suggested it occurred quite frequently, a comfortable sign of affection. "I'm never helping you steal anything," he said mock-sternly.

"We could be unstoppable," she said dreamily. "Can you imagine? With your brains and my beauty, we could take over the galaxy. I rather like that idea."

"No," he said firmly.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." He slid his arms possessively down to curl around her waist. "But I promise you, if we do get off this ship, I'll take you anywhere in the galaxy you want to go. As long as there's nothing illegal involved."

"You take all the fun out of life," she pouted, and he laughed, and then he leaned over and kissed her once more, longer and more passionately...

She always woke up at the good parts, of course, and it was always disorienting to wake up alone in her bed, as though her body had gotten used to constantly having someone else beside her despite the fact that she hadn't had a steady lover in years. She glanced over at the clock by her bedside – 0300 in the morning, and there was no way she was getting back to sleep after that dream.

The dreams always made her heart ache, taunting her with something she was pretty sure she could never have. Daniel had made it very clear that he had little interest in her romantically, and although she'd tried so, so hard to shield herself from him and prevent him from getting to her, somewhere in the past two years, Vala Mal Doran had fallen completely and hopelessly in love with Daniel Jackson.

When she'd first arrived on Earth, he'd been nothing but another handsome man to seduce and use, like all the rest – but somewhere along the line, he began to believe in her. He _believed_ in her. And worst of all, she believed in him right back. When she had lost her memories earlier that year, it was his face that brought it all back, that small awkward smile, those brilliant eyes eclipsed by glasses. She didn't always understand him, but the passion that drove him – the love for history, for culture – she loved seeing him so excited. She wasn't used to this.

Vala Mal Doran wasn't supposed to _care_ about other people. She wasn't supposed to care about anyone other than herself, she shouldn't care about the daughter she'd birthed but never known, she shouldn't care about the husband she'd failed to save…and she was never supposed to care about Daniel Jackson.

It drove her completely insane that Teal'c wouldn't tell her what had transpired on board the _Odyssey_ all those years together. She hoped against hope that the dreams were a dormant memory from that time, trapped in her subconscious, but the fact that the others weren't having similar dreams suggested to her that perhaps they were just manifestations of false hope.

Knowing there was no way she would get back to sleep, she slipped into a pair of track pants she had 'liberated' from the locker room and a tank top and went walking. The hallways of Stargate command were busy even in the dead hours of early morning, but most of the people wandering had business to attend to and left her alone. She walked deep in thought, without really watching where she was going, and before she knew it, she was standing outside Teal'c's door.

Wincing, she knocked, hoping he wasn't asleep or kel'nor'reeming or whatever it was that Jaffa did at night. To her undisguised relief, the low voice said calmly, "come in", and she entered without a second thought to find Teal'c sitting cross-legged on the floor, his eyes closed serenely.

"Muscles," she said, hoping she didn't sound too desperate. "I had a dream."

He cracked one eye open to look at her. "I still find the process of dreaming somewhat hard to comprehend, ValaMalDoran, but if you wish to talk…"

"See, that's the thing," she said, falling gracefully into a sitting position across from him. "I don't know if it was really a dream, and you're the only one who can tell me." She had his attention now – both eyes were open and one eyebrow was cocked.

"I will not inadvertently tell you information about the fifty years aboard the _Odyssey_," he told her, as though she was trying to trick him. Considering all the trouble she'd gone to in the past to try to get _something_ out of him, she couldn't really blame him.

"Muscles, I'm not asking what we ate for breakfast every morning. I just need to know if there's any truth to my dreams. Because if there isn't, I need to know, now, before I get my hopes up on something that won't ever happen."

"You are speaking of DanielJackson," Teal'c said, and it wasn't a question.

"I keep having these dreams, and we're on board the _Odyssey_ and time is passing, and I'm aware of it. Daniel and I are together, and Cameron keeps running, and Samantha is sometimes trying to find a solution and sometimes playing a weird Earth instrument—"

"I believe it is called a cello," Teal'c interrupted.

"Okay, a cello. And Daniel…I can tell that he loves me, and we live together and even though we're trapped, it doesn't seem to matter as much…" her eyes narrowed suddenly as realization struck her. "Muscles!"

He cocked his head at her.

"It's true, isn't it!" Her heart was beating wildly, suddenly, and she felt too hot and too cold, like her skin didn't fit right. "You knew what instrument Samantha was playing! The dreams are real?"

He gave her an enigmatic smile. "I cannot tell you anything."

"Please," she said pleadingly, "I have to know if Daniel could ever possibly…." Teal'c shook his head. "Muscles!" She huffed and looked to one side. "Teal'c…

Teal'c suddenly moved forward, clamping his large hands over her biceps, and looked deeply into her eyes. Whatever he saw there seemed to give him pause, because he pulled back after a moment and nodded ever so slightly.

"If you tell ColonelMitchell or DanielJackson any of what I am about to tell you…" he said warningly.

"Of course I won't. My lips are zipped," she said, proud of the Earth phrases she was picking up, and made the appropriate motion as well. "Tell me."

"The only thing I will say is…when we reversed the time-dilation field, you and DanielJackson had just celebrated your fifty-second anniversary."

Of all the things in the world she'd been expecting to hear about those fifty years spent on board the _Odyssey_, despite the tiny bit of hope she'd had, the last thing she'd expected to hear was that it was all true. Fifty-two years of it. God, it was terrifying.

"He loved me," she whispered and Teal'c simply bowed his head in confirmation. "I…I have to go."

"ValaMalDoran," Teal'c said as she rushed to the door. "From what I have seen since we've returned, I think that there is still a possibility that that future could come true." She swallowed hard, flipped her hair back over her shoulder, and turned around to give him a huge grin that was mostly forced, trying to hide how fucking _scared_ she was.

"Of course it's a possibility!" she declared. "Few men can resist a sexy alien for long." Then, with a saucy wink, she was gone.

********

The _Daedalus_ embarked on its journey with little fanfare. SG-1 hugged everyone goodbye, including General Landry and Walter, and Jack O'Niell came to see them off (as everyone knew he would). He grasped Daniel by the shoulders as they prepared to be beamed aboard.

"Don't you get killed over in Pegasus," he said sharply.

"Jack," Daniel said.

"Daniel. I mean it."

"I'll try my best, but I doubt I'll be going out on missions with all that Ancient knowledge at my disposal. Plus, Sam's already got a perfectly good primary team. No need to screw that up and give them competition."

"Who would have thought that Sheppard would have such a good head on his shoulders?" O'Niell laughed. "Reminds me of myself." They shared a conspiratory smile as the Asgard beams eclipsed SG-1 from Jack's vision, and soon they reappeared on the bridge of the _Daedalus_, with Caldwell looking at them with a slightly grumpy expression on his face.

The journey itself was uneventful for the first week. Daniel spent most of his time in his quarters, catching up on reports from the Atlantis expedition's latest findings and trying not to be too excited about the whole thing. He tried to convince himself that he wasn't avoiding Vala, who came by his quarters every day and pouted loudly at his closed door, but in his heart he knew that he wasn't ready to face her boredom yet again.

However, by the time the second week rolled around, he decided to suck it up and emerged. Teal'c smiled at him enigmatically and said nothing, and Mitchell just said something along the lines of, "Jackson, so you _are_ still alive!" And Vala watched him.

She watched him in the most unnerving fashion, like she couldn't quite figure out what made him tick. He was used to her eyes on him, looking to him for answers, guidance, even reassurance, but the new looks he was receiving were nothing like that. These were confused, cautious, and yet he couldn't help but feel that she knew something he didn't – and that unsettled him. Vala with any sort of information was dangerous.

She sat herself across from him in the mess one day and beamed brightly at him.

"Do you think," she mused lazily, sucking on the spoon from her jello with a twinkle in her eye, "that the Pegasus galaxy will have a criminal underworld?"

"From the reports, it sounds like the Wraith have kept the human populations in the galaxy pretty run down. I'm sure there are your occasional thieves and smugglers, but probably nothing organized." He narrowed his eyes. "Trying to get in touch with your roots?"

She curved her full mouth into a smile. "We could start one."

"No."

"Unite all the disparate human populations together, go against the Wraith, start a smuggling racket of Ancient artifacts…"

"No. And the Atlantis expedition has already done the first two," he pointed out as she began to pout. "I doubt there's much of a market for stolen goods among people who live in daily fear of being culled."

"Did you see our galaxy under the rule of the Goa'uld?" she asked incredulously. "Evil alien overlords do not stop humanity from perpetuating its worst qualities. Or best," she added with a grin.

"So you're saying your shady past could come in handy," he said, shoving some sort of vegetable thing around his plate with his fork. The food quality on board had greatly improved in quality with the addition of the Asgard matter converter, but occasionally the mess still got things wrong.

"I'm just trying to get you to talk to me." She put her spoon into the empty jello cup and slouched in her seat, pulling on one pigtail. "Daniel, are you going to be this boring when we reach Atlantis?"

"Yes." He resisted the urge to smile at her. It would only encourage her, especially since she threw a napkin at him anyway.

"Boring! I'm going to go find Cameron, although he's probably jogging. Again. You'd think that's all the man knows how to do on a ship. Unlike us." She seemed to be implying something, something important, but it flew right over Daniel's head and he stared in confusion at her retreating form.

********

It had been a week and a half since she had talked to Teal'c, and the memories had started coming back in full force. The dreams had only been the beginning – to her astonishment, she started having a sense of déjà vu in certain situations, or having flashes of memory from a lifetime that wasn't entirely hers. Sitting in the _Daedalus_'s mess reminded her of evenings spent in companionship with the others. Sometimes she dreamed, of warm conversations curled up with Daniel, of roller-skating in circles around Mitchell, of having way too much fun with the matter converter and creating entire _rooms_ filled with useless junk she'd created with help from the various catalogs she carried with her at all times.

She smiled fondly at the memory – Daniel walking in to the room where she was storing her latest collection of knick knacks and telling her she was banned from the Asgard core until she could justify creating a working model of a cannon from Earth history. There was a pile of pillows in one corner, big and small, that she'd gone crazy creating one day, and she and Daniel had had a pillow fight of epic proportions.

The first couple years on the _Odyssey_ had been fun, she thought in a way that felt almost like nostalgia, except that she was remembering a life that she had never truly lived. She'd moved in with Daniel almost immediately after they'd finally hooked up, and although at the time she'd never thought that there was anything more rewarding in a relationship than sex, by the fourth year on the ship she had found a great joy in exploring Daniel in all his facets.

Now that she was remembering, it was possible that she knew Daniel better than anyone else alive. The thought caused shivers up and down her spine. But although she knew Daniel so well, the memories still didn't quite feel like hers – like she was watching a film of another person's life, knowing how they felt and why they felt it but never quite actually living it. That other Vala had gained a great treasure, but that other Vala would be the only one to ever truly know how it had felt to be cooped up on a ship for fifty years.

She went to Teal'c often, although he was mostly unhelpful.

"I cannot reveal anything to you, ValaMalDoran," he would say, every single time. Eventually she stopped pestering him to fill in the blanks in her patchy memory, and instead they tried to figure out why only her memories were coming back. Daniel and Cameron gave no indication that they had any idea what had transpired, and none of them had talked in any sort of depth with Samantha in months.

"It is possible that it is being caused by the naquada in your blood," Teal'c rumbled once. Vala wrinkled her nose, considering the idea. Being a former host to a Goa'uld had possibly changed some of her neural pathways, according to new research done by the SGC. Although it didn't cause any permanent damage, they were still unsure of the total sum of the effects.

Vala wasn't stupid, and she studied up on time-dilation technology in her free time. From what she understood of the mechanics, it seemed totally implausible that her memories from that alternate lifetime still existed – when time had reversed, it should have reverted her brain chemistry back to the state it originally was in, erasing all memories. The whole thing made her head hurt, and finally she stopped trying to understand it.

With the return of the memories brought a new joy in harassing Daniel. She could repeat old conversations and watch them differ, and she had a whole arsenal of tricks up her sleeve. Fifty years together had left a long list of things that were guaranteed to get under his skin – it had, for some reason, only increased his fondness for her while they were onboard the _Odyssey_, and now she could retry the same ideas under different circumstances.

Colonel Caldwell was less than happy when she knocked down several members of his crew while attempting to roller-skate through the halls, but such was life.

********

The new planet that Atlantis had moved to stretched in the viewscreens of the _Daedalus_, oceans sparkling sapphire, and it was just as breathtaking the second time around. Daniel had his nose practically pressed to the metaphorical glass, watching their approach, and Vala quietly stood by his side. Teal'c watched them with a small smile, and Vala grinned back, giving him a thumbs-up sign, which caused Cameron to look at them both oddly.

Some things never changed.

Some things did. The beauty of Atlantis's new homeworld was creating a tight feeling in Daniel's chest, and Vala's proximity was making him feel slightly light-headed. He resisted the urge to sling an arm around her shoulders as the _Daedalus_ prepared to land, but it was touch and go for a minute, and he could almost feel the warmth of her pressed against his side. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. The woman was going to be the death of him.

As they disembarked from the ship, the sound of footsteps sounded on the dock before Sam actually appeared, emerging from her city with a wide grin on her face. She tried to walk with the authority and decorum of Atlantis's commander, but eventually she could resist no longer and broke into a sprint. Sam had never been one for physical contact, but she flung herself into a three-way hug with Daniel and Teal'c that said everything about how lonely she'd been, and Daniel stroked the blonde hair that had gotten longer than he'd ever seen it before and tried to nonverbally communicate that everything would be okay. After a long moment, Sam peeled herself from them and flung herself on Cameron and Vala, who hugged her back just as enthusiastically. In the distance, Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay hung back with a group of marines.

"I've missed you all," Sam told them when she was done with the hugging. "When I found out Daniel was coming to Atlantis I had hardly even considered that the rest of you would follow, but then General Landry told me that the _Daedalus_ had left with Cam and Vala and Teal'c onboard as well and I could hardly believe it." She couldn't stop grinning. "We've already assigned your quarters and I think you'll like them. After you've settled in, we'll figure out logistics."

"Welcome to Atlantis," Colonel Sheppard told them, coming up behind Sam. "We're all pleased to have you here." McKay was next to him.

"The Chihuahua man!" Vala exclaimed. "You know, doctor, I don't think we ever continued our discussion on the importance of size…"

Daniel grabbed her by the collar. "Not now." McKay huffed in the background.

"But Daniel…"

"Do you _want_ them to stuff you on the _Daedalus_ and send you back?" he asked tightly. She shook her head and he wasn't blind to the way that she was trying not to smile. Of course she was just trying to get a rise out of him – making innuendo-laced comments at other men. It was typical.

"You know, Daniel, you and I could always have that discussion by ourselves—"

Teal'c interrupted the fight before it could erupt. "ColonelCarter, perhaps we should see our new quarters." He fixed a Look at Vala and she turned her head away, airily pretending not to see it.

"Of course," Sam said, trying and failing to stop grinning. "Cameron, we put you and Teal'c near the military personnel. Daniel, you're near the scientists…"

"Please," scoffed McKay, "as if an _archaeologist_ is going to be of any use the next time some sort of Ancient technology decides to go haywire." He gave Daniel a look that clearly said 'stay out of my way', but before Daniel could respond, Vala had stepped in front of him.

"Daniel is much more than an archaeologist," she snapped. "And he probably could kick your ass in a fight." McKay paled slightly and Sheppard snickered, but everyone else just stared at Vala with raised eyebrows except Teal'c, who watched serenely.

"I may not be an expert in astrophysics," Daniel told McKay calmly, "but I know more about the Ancients than any person alive."

"And honestly, Daniel should have been selected as the new leader of this expedition," Sam said quietly. At everyone's protest, she held up one hand. "No, don't deny it. We all know it's true." She looked at Daniel and smiled sadly. "I can't help but feel that you wouldn't have made so many of the bad choices that I have. Atlantis was your dream, not mine."

"We're here now, Sam," Daniel told her. "We can help you." They all stared at each other for a long moment before Sheppard coughed and broke the silence.

"Rodney and I can show you to your assigned quarters," he said with a small smirk. He and McKay and Sam led the way into the city, which was just as beautiful as it had been last time Daniel had visited nearly a year and a half before. As they walked, Sam fell into step behind Teal'c, and Daniel heard her say,

"I need to talk to you alone when you can spare a moment."

"Of course," Teal'c acknowledged with a nod of his head.

Daniel's quarters were spacious and well-lit, with a gorgeous view of the city off the balcony that he had a feeling Sam had picked all for him. His things hadn't been brought over from the _Daedalus_ and the room was bare and had no signs of life, but when he looked around and breathed in the salty air, it seemed to resonate in his bones. _Home_.

He spent a good portion of the afternoon on his balcony, watching the ocean toss beneath the city and wondering what he'd done to deserve such a posting, finally, after so much time had been lost.

********

When Sam went to Teal'c's rooms later that day to talk to him, she was surprised to see that Vala was already there, pestering him about something or other as Teal'c sat calmly on the floor, watching her with a raised eyebrow.

"If this is a bad time…" Sam started.

"Indeed it is not, ColonelCarter," Teal'c replied with a smile. "ValaMalDoran wishes to speak to you as well." Sam raised an eyebrow.

"And I wouldn't mind speaking to you later, Vala, but what I have to discuss with Teal'c is pretty private," Sam started, but Vala waved it off with a hand, sprawling back on one of the big chairs that had been provided for Teal'c.

"If it's about the fifty years aboard that horrible ship, you can talk in front of me," she said airily. "I know all about it." Sam stared at her incredulously, wondering what on Earth had possessed Teal'c to give Vala that sort of information.

"I did not tell her," Teal'c rumbled as though he knew where Sam's thoughts were headed. "She saw it in dreams and has since begun to remember." And suddenly Vala was not an intruder but a kindred spirit, and Sam stared at her in surprise.

"Like me," she said softly. She sank to the floor beside Vala's chair, carefully not making eye contact with either of them. "I've been having dreams for several months now, but there's no one here I can talk to." She made a gesture that encompassed all of Atlantis. "The emptiness onboard the _Odyssey_...it was worse than anything ever before, even being taken as a Goa'uld host." She smiled sadly at Teal'c. "I ordered a cello on the last _Daedalus_ run, but I can't play it. I can remember how, but it's like another person learned and I just watched. My hands don't know how to play."

"It feels like another lifetime," Vala chimed in, and they both looked sadly at each other. "I'm not that person, and I am. I know things I learned from those fifty years, and yet I don't feel any wiser."

Sam wanted to ask the question that sat on the tip of her tongue, the question that would decide the fate of one of her best friends, but she almost couldn't bring herself to do it. If Vala loved Daniel, that was her business and hers alone, and nothing Samantha Carter said or did would change anything. And if she didn't, if those strong feelings she and Daniel had shared had grown as a result of being cooped up on the _Odyssey_, then Sam worried that they both would constantly search for something for the rest of their lives and never quite find it.

"Do Daniel and Cameron remember?" she asked instead, looking between Vala and Teal'c for answers.

"It seems unlikely," Teal'c replied, even as Vala said,

"If they do, they haven't said anything." She thought for a moment, chewing on her lower lip. "No, I don't think Daniel remembers anything. If he did, he would be much more awkward with me." The shadow in her eyes at that statement answered Sam's question, and she wished she was more eloquent so that she could say something to comfort the other woman. It was a shame that eloquence was Daniel's gift instead of hers.

How difficult must it have been to fall in love with a man and remember fifty years of a life together that never quite actually happened?

"It's possible," Vala mused with a grin, "that the naquada in our blood from being former hosts has somehow preserved memories that ought to have been destroyed."

"As I suggested to you earlier, ValaMalDoran," Teal'c acknowledged with an incline of his head. Sam watched him quietly, a small smile on her face. Some of the memories that had started coming back were reminding her that Teal'c had always been there for her, in their darkest hour. Teal'c turned and watched her back, and after a moment, Vala hopped to her feet.

"Well, I'll leave you two to reminisce!" she said firmly with a smile. "Just making sure we were all…what's the Earth expression? On the same page?" She gave a saucy wink. "It's been several hours since I've last harassed Daniel. I can't go soft like that." And then she was gone.

"Samantha," Teal'c said softly, using her given name instead of his usual 'ColonelCarter'. That was another thing Sam remembered from those long years aboard the _Odyssey_. He'd never once stopped calling Daniel 'DanielJackson', but Sam had turned into 'Samantha' quite quickly.

"Teal'c…" she murmured, and then she was hugging him, and even though her months as commander of Atlantis had been long and lonely, suddenly everything was going to be okay again.

********

The city of Atlantis had a romantic feel to it that Vala found she liked, and so many wonders that she could hardly wait to start exploring (and collecting…). And watching Daniel in his element was like watching a kid in a candy shop, because he flitted around from console to balcony to lab like he couldn't figure out what to look at next, and she hadn't seen his face so alive in…a long time. As there was little for her to do on those first few days, she reprised her favorite role as his shadow.

"What is this?" she pointed firmly at an object that looked like a miniature ha'tak vessel that had been squished and painted silver.

"Don't _touch_ anything!" McKay was by her elbow in seconds, snatching the offensive object away, and if Vala hadn't turned suddenly to look at Daniel she would have missed his indulgent smile at her.

"Sorry," she told McKay, obviously not very sorry in the least. "Isn't there anything here we can touch, Daniel?"

"_I_ can touch anything I want to," Daniel said firmly, holding out his hand. McKay stared at him suspiciously and Vala suddenly got the feeling that these two men were going to be butting heads quite a bit within the next few weeks.

"I don't think so," McKay said quickly, stowing the weird smushed thing somewhere beneath the table. "You may not have the ATA gene but god knows what you could do, you're an _archaeologist_ for crying out loud. This is _real science_."

Daniel raised an eyebrow.

"Oh no," McKay forged on. "That may work for Teal'c but you're not that intimidating. Go be underfoot somewhere else." Then his attention was drawn elsewhere and he was gone as quickly as he had appeared, yelling, "Simpson, you idiot, what did I tell you about that?!"

Vala looked at Daniel's sour expression and began to laugh. "You," she said, poking him in the center of the chest, "are not going to get your hands on any of his precious technology. Unless you beat him up." Daniel looked thoughtful until she added, "can I watch?"

"I'm not beating up anyone," Daniel told her.

"But your muscles will go to waste here," she pouted, squeezing one bicep. Daniel sidestepped away from her, glaring at the touch. "Daniel, it'd be a shame if you turned into a weedy academic like the rest of them. Samantha showed me a picture, I know how you used to look!"

"There's nothing wrong with how I used to look," Daniel snapped. Vala grinned and leaned in close to whisper against the shell of his ear.

"Of course not, darling. You could pull off any look." He jerked away and stared at her, eyes wide, finally realizing how close they were standing to one another, in the middle of one of the labs. He turned on his heel and started walking briskly down the hall without another word, leaving Vala frustrated behind him.

She remembered how skittish Daniel had been last time, how he'd assumed every time she tried to get close that she was playing with him, and how completely ignorant he'd been to the fact that she'd pretty much been head over heels for him since before the first beachhead incident.

She remembered all the things he'd said to her, and fifty years together had faded that bruise to nearly nothing, but although she knew he hadn't meant them even at the time, she never wanted to provoke such a reaction again.

Obviously, something had to be done.

********

He was watching the sunset over the ocean when she found him again. Daniel hadn't honestly expected to have a Vala-free afternoon, so when she didn't follow him after he stomped off, he was highly surprised. He had dinner with Sam and Teal'c, who were all smiles and reminiscing on old times, and they all talked about how much they wished Jack were there as well. Cam had stopped in briefly before explaining that he was training with the Satedan named Ronon, and it would have been extremely pleasant had Daniel not been extremely aware of their missing member, the space at his side cold when it was normally warm and filled with Vala.

Of course, her actions earlier that day had only proven that she was toying with his feelings, hence the staring out at the ocean and feeling a little depressed when he should have been enjoying the beauty of the sunset in his new home. It was _Atlantis_. He'd wanted to get there forever, and now that he was there, he was too worried about Vala to enjoy it.

Vala.

She had become such a constant in his life, and he didn't hesitate to consider her a friend. But he did know his feelings for her had surpassed what was acceptable for friendship a long time ago, and that he felt drawn to her.

She came out onto the balcony and stood silently beside him for several long moments.

"You're never quiet," he said finally. "What's up?"

"Daniel," she whispered, turning to look up at him, grey eyes bright in the reflection off the water. She didn't try to touch him, her hands clenched at her sides. "I…I've decided something." She took a deep breath and he raised an eyebrow, pretending his stomach hadn't just flip-flopped. "You don't know, do you?"

"Know what?"

She turned her profile to him, staring out at the ocean so she wouldn't have to meet his eyes. After a long moment, she began to speak again, her voice soft. "There was never anyone like you. There was never _supposed_ to be anyone like you." Daniel felt a shiver that had nothing to do with the ocean air, and he found he had trouble swallowing.

"Vala…" He put a hand on her upper arm.

Suddenly, she got defensive and whirled into his touch, eyes flashing. "Look, Daniel, I'm not toying with you. I would never hurt you, never belittle your feelings, so before you accuse me of doing so, think about it. You know me better than _anyone else_."

It was a bit overwhelming. "What are you saying?"

"I know you're afraid. You're afraid to get close to anyone after what happened to your wife, and I respect that. You think that I only care about you because of sex and that scares you." Her voice was still firm and steady.

"Why would that scare me?" he tried denial, but she seemed to know something he didn't, because she made a scoffing sound that had entirely too much hurt in it.

"You idiot, I'm in love with you!" The words left her easily, as though they weren't words that he'd never in a million years expected to hear from this woman. It was like he couldn't breathe, couldn't think. There was no way…it had to be a dream.

He was obviously staring at her like an idiot, because her eyes grew glassy and she looked away again. "What do you want from me, Daniel?" she asked in a small voice.

His heart was beating too fast and he was _never_ good at these types of things. Sha're had all but fallen into his lap, and Vala had thrown herself at him, and so had the other women who he'd allowed himself to have feelings for, but although he knew everything there was to know about holding friendships together, he was an absolute idiot at relationships.

After a long moment of silence, Vala pressed her lips together firmly. "I guess you don't know," she said, her voice sadder than it had every right to be. "I'm sorry to have bothered you." She turned to leave, heading for the door back into the city, and Daniel suddenly had the epiphany that if he let this woman leave, then he might lose his chance forever.

Before he could think, he reached out and caught the top of her arm, spinning her towards him so that she landed in his arms. She stared up at him in surprise and he met her gaze, trying not to look too shocked and probably failing miserably.

"Daniel," she whispered.

"Shut up," he murmured and leaned down to kiss her. She made a small noise of surprise and kissed him back, a simple press of lips, making no attempt to pressure him further, and after a long moment of reveling in her smell, the softness of her hair tangled in his fingers, the delicate curve of the small of her back under his hand, he pulled away.

"I…" His throat felt too thick to speak, and he didn't know what to say. "I…you're not messing with me." He tried to keep the wonder out of his voice.

"Of course not," she said in a voice that clearly showed that she thought he was a bit of an idiot.

"Then you…"

"I really do genuinely care about you," she said before tugging him into another kiss, this one far more passionate. After a moment, she pulled away again. "Can we have sex now?"

"What?" God, was this what the rest of his life was going to be like?

As she laughingly dragged him off, he mused that life was certainly going to be interesting.

********

Vala and Daniel came to breakfast in the mess together the next morning, and Teal'c and Samantha watched them a little intensely from their table across the room.

"This is a little creepy," Daniel said.

"They just care about you!" Vala reassured him, waving at the other two as they turned away and tried to pretend that they hadn't been staring in the first place. "They just want us to be happy." She reached across the table they were sharing and took his hand in hers, and they had a peaceful moment for a few seconds, eating their breakfast and watching each other.

"So about unifying a criminal underworld in this galaxy..." Vala began.

"No."

"But Daniel, I'm _bored_."

"No."

Despite the argument that stemmed from the conversation that spanned the rest of breakfast, and the fact that Teal'c and Samantha watched the whole spectacle with thinly veiled amusement, Vala was pretty sure that life in the Pegasus galaxy was going to be pretty amazing.

Someday, when Daniel was a criminal overlord at her side, he would thank her.

**the end**


End file.
